THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN I’VE EVER SEEN AND SCREW ALL THE FAIRYTALES!

Why are all the heroins of stories tricked? And why are gyms so calculating and evil?!

I opened the door, ready for anything but I definitely, definitely wasn’t expecting this. Standing in front of me was the most Continue reading THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN I’VE EVER SEEN AND SCREW ALL THE FAIRYTALES!

THE WORST NIGHT EVER! ALSO, AREN’T WE ALL A LITTLE MARIE ANTOINETTE?

How could everything go so wrong in one second? I need Andy Cohen – NOW!

I can’t talk. I can’t breath. I can’t think. I can’t anything. I don’t want to relive what happened, I don’t want to go through it all again. When ever I remember his eyes on me, I want to throw up. I want to run to the toilet and have diarrhea. How did this happen? Continue reading THE WORST NIGHT EVER! ALSO, AREN’T WE ALL A LITTLE MARIE ANTOINETTE?

DOES CHAUCER KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT? ALSO, I HAD A FIGHT WITH MY BFF

I definitely know why I can’t stand the idea of being married now!

I’m trying so hard not to be judgey but wow. Like WOW. I can’t believe what I heard. The scandal of it all! Continue reading DOES CHAUCER KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT? ALSO, I HAD A FIGHT WITH MY BFF

HOW DO YOU FLIRT? ALSO, I DISCOVERED A SCANDALOUS SECRET!

Wait! Was she just flirting? Do I flirt like that?!

OMG. I’ve been trying to come up with a phrase that would be the direct opposite to the phrase “to add insult to injury” or in Bibi’s words “when shit mixes with piss”. So like, for example Continue reading HOW DO YOU FLIRT? ALSO, I DISCOVERED A SCANDALOUS SECRET!

LEAVE MR. DARCY ALONE

Here’s why dating is absolutely SHIT today and it’s not Mr. Darcy’s fault (I’m looking at you Dolly Alderton)…

For the next two days I was pretty incognito at the office. I kept my head down, avoided eye contact, did my work to a mediocre level, left at 5.30 on the dot and Continue reading LEAVE MR. DARCY ALONE

WHEN FRIENDS BREAK UP

We used to be like FRIENDS now we are… I have no idea

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My friends were fuming when I told them what happened in the office. Stuffing our actual faces with that amazing honey cake while an episode of Friends played in the background on my TV (Season two The One With The Lesbian Wedding), I told them every detail of Continue reading WHEN FRIENDS BREAK UP

HOW NOT TO CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY

All I wanted to do was celebrate but somehow I ended up feeding everyone arse cupcakes.

I turned twenty-eight today and here’s what I know for sure. Sitting in a toilet stall at work and crying (ugly crying – tears, snot, hiccups and all) means that you’re not having a good day. Especially when it’s your birthday. Continue reading HOW NOT TO CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY