About Me

Who am I? Kind of obvious. No? Well, I’m that bitch. A leopard print loving, traditional, modern oxymoron with a minimal sensibility, no common sense and OTT tendencies.

Yes, I’m that bitch.

I’m a popcorn eating, rom-com watching, meme loving, bad flirt with a pop culture prescription. I’m a classy lady, who curses like a teenage boy. I’m an educated, intelligent semi-prevliged woman who  is starting to think that gold diggers might be on to something.

Yes, I’m that bitch.

I’m a Feminist (sort of), lawyer (almost), single (most definitely), realist believer in fairy tale endings (unfortunately). I identify as a culturally confused, fashion bemused, moderately tolerable millennial who finds wisdom in Rumi, Shakespeare and every Britney Spears song ever. Test me.

Yes, I’m that bitch.

Perfectionist by nature, improviser by fault, I’m that girl you see telling the bouncer that he’s going to regret not letting me in. But he won’t. I’m a baker. It gives me life and I’m on a mission to bake the most perfect pistachio cake ever. Even if it makes me fat.

Yes, I’m that bitch.

I want an arse like J.Lo but I hate the gym. I want to be cool like Victoria Beckham but I like to smile. I want nothing to do with the Kardashians cause I think they are foul. But oh my God, is that a Real Housewives reunion?

Yes, I’m that bitch.

Humus loving, tea drinking, (kind of ) Arab Girl who grew up (mainly) in London, living her best life (questionable) by the beach while convincing her very Arab mother and grandmother that she’s not crazy for not wanting a ring on that finger.

Yes, I’m that bitch.

Ethnic not exotic (unless it suits me), determined and flaky, strong but fluffy, sequins, velvet anything Parisian and yes, I’m a total activist . . . online. I like to like stuff but refrain from commenting in case I change my mind – which I do often. I think. Should I buy a Rolex or is that such a cliché?

Yes, I’m that bitch.

Guys can break your heart. Girlfriends can smash it. Cake will heal it and so will your real friends, no matter their gender, race, inclination, identification or if they are secretly in love with you. I use hand sanitizer on everything.

Yes, I’m that bitch.

I’m a sophisticated mess. Bilingual, bifocal, bipartisan dating soldier. I have no self-control in Sephora or a bookshop. I have a fear of birds (it’s called Ornithophobia). I have a black cat named Puck. I have receipts.

Yes, I’m that bitch.